Parent-teacher conference today

Or should I say parent-teacherS conference. Yikes. I was a bit intimidated when I first walked in. In the room was me (obviously), Mr. M (aka the Big Guy, lol), the Principal, Amy the ST and another lady, can't remember her name but she's the music therapist. For a split second I was prepared for them to just devastate me. But... despite all that was said, it went ok and I expected to hear most of what I heard.

I didn't expect to hear them tell me his IQ right now is a 70. I immediately said, "doesn't 70 put him in the M.R. range?". The principal said, "M.R. begins at 69. Thank God for 1 point, huh?

However, they can't and haven't been able to fully evaluate him. This summer, he just could not and would not cooperate. So, when Nathan couldn't answer the question, he "missed" that one, or however you do an IQ test on a 5yo. Well, and rightfully so. That's how he was functioning then.

We also talked about his report card. He had quite a few "AC's" or Area's of Concern. I asked if they were area of concern because they were rating him next to a TDK (typically developing kid) and in which case we knew he would rate low or if they were concerned still after evaluating him against his current cognitive functioning level. Unfortunately, that's not an easy question to answer. Nathan's brain - the current state of it and the state it will be in tomorrow, next week and next year are still so up in the air.

Right now, it's safe to say he has brain damage. It's NOT safe to say it's permanent. Only time will tell. Right now he's functioning on about a 3 year old level, which we knew. And, also, they said exactly what I've thought too... that he's picking up about where he left of 1 1/2 years ago. Well, no that's not entirely true. Nathan was so bright as a 3 year old. He could tell you every letter of the alphabet, the sound it made and words that start with that letter. Now he's having trouble even correctly identifying more than 16 letters in the alphabet.

But, everyone feels he's made improvements in the last 6 weeks or so. His ST said she just loves working with him, that she's even gotten a few kisses out of him. I wish his OT had been there though. I haven't met her yet as awful as that it. He's met about 80% of his current speech goals and about 65% of his OT goals. I requested a music eval for music therapy for him. She came and did the eval and said it was a bit inconclusive whether or not he'd benefit from it. I believe he totally would. And his teacher commented on how much he loves music class. The principal seemed reluctant to approve it, but the Big Guy asked if we could try it for 2-3 months and see if we make any progress with him. (I really like the Big Guy, lol. I truly believe he's an excellent advocate for Nathan and is personally invested in his education.) So, we're going to start that.

It's already come up that he'll most likely be repeating K next year. I think it's too early in the year to say something like that, but on the other hand, yes, I think it will be necessary. But, then again, we just don't know how he's goin to be in 6 months. But that's asking him to make up a whole lot of time in the next 6-7 months - not only make that time up but get up to speed as well.

Nathan goes into his mainstreamed room about 3 times a day. 30 min for calendar time, 30 min for phonics and another 15 or so for other activities. The Big Guy mentioned how the other kids are really taking to Nathan - but in the way that they realize something not quite "right" with him. But they encourage him and sort of treat him like they're the older brother/sister??? Which is really nice, but yet, he needs friends too. I asked TBG if Nathan has any friends but I don't believe he does and social skills are something they need to be working on iwth him. He's made a few motions to play with other kids but lately they said he's been retreating a bit more - which is concerning to me. They have a group of kids with high functioning autism that they're doing a social skills group with. Nathan is going to begin going to that as well. I asked if the autism room was more appropriate for him. Well, the kids iwth autism in the autism room are severe or low functioning so that wouldn't work. The kids high functioning are mainstreamed as much as possible. So, he's really in the best room available - not quite really the best room for him. But then again, Nathan is truly a unique case. As if I didn't already know that ;-)

So, we're just going to push ahead, mainstream him when he's able, try to increase his social skills and see how his brain is recovering.

I just so totally believe that his brain is going to be healed. I believe his cognitive functioning is going to improve and increase. I swear as awful as it is, when the principal told me his IQ the first thing I thought of was Forest Gump. And that's alittle like Nathan is right now. Things are black and white for him, he's not really social, but he loves us and knows we love him too and he's loving and gentle and cuddly. He tells the babies all the time that he loves them, usually while he's stroking their heads. He gives kisses a lot. But, his knowledge of things are just really limited. He knows the basics. I asked him today, "how old are you?" - a question he's been getting right for a few months. He answered, "fine". So, that kind of bothered me. But, then when we went upstairs to get ready for bed, he got himself undressed and went in to go potty and peed and pooped - then went in a put on a pullup and his jammies. All of this was while I was across the hall in Em's room. So, that's pretty damn good if you ask me.

Time, we just need time.